A Market for Grace
It was the latest offense against an American political tribe. In 2018, Pete Davidson, a Saturday Night Live comedian, made an insensitive joke about a congressman’s eye patch. He followed it with an irreverent comment about his injury, and Dan Crenshaw, Texas Congressman and Iraq veteran, became a political celebrity. For days, conservatives complained of Davidson’s comments. They represented left-wing contempt for the military, and SNL made amends by inviting Crenshaw on the show. Each man showed humility, appealing to unity through humor and duty. Despite any politics or ill-advised jokes, the power to relate to each other was evident, and America had a flash of solidarity.
David French, now a columnist with the New York Times, covered the event with words I’ve never forgotten: “There’s a market for grace in American politics.” Noting the millions of views on YouTube, people wanted to see this kind of resolution. A New York comedian and a Texas veteran shared respect with the other for the world to see. Like a medicine no one knew we needed, there truly was a market for grace. French captured the moment with that phrase, and I’ve always taken inspiration from it.
This blog is an extension of that moment. It’s a place where the writings make an avid effort to pursue active listening. This means summarizing different perspectives as best we can. It means making the effort to steel man arguments to understand why people see things as they do. It means aggressively striving to avoid lapses of logic like straw men and Ad Hominem attacks. I have opinions like everyone else, and I will share them as others do. But my primary goal isn’t so much to be right, but to understand where others are coming from as tensions flare.
The depth of topics will go far beyond politics. Consider culture. Religion. The books we read, and the he movies we stream. The laws we obey, and the families we raise. Maybe, just maybe, reasonable people can walk away from a topic on better terms. Maybe they’re not crazy. Maybe they’re not awful people. Maybe they’re not Nazis or fascists, nor bigots or cultists. This doesn’t mean changing your mind; indeed, listening is not tantamount to conceding or denying your convictions. But it means taking the adventure of understanding, just as Crenshaw did in showing up on SN. If readers can leave this site with a lighter heart toward those they disagree with, then the effort are worth it to me.
Still, how do we listen through blogging? Don’t columnists just spit out opinions for the world to respond in anger? No doubt, my posts will have opinions; some will be stronger than others, and some smarter than others. But I want to earn the opinions I express. That means striving first to understand your point of view. It means that those who hate my views will at least walk away with the belief that we shared a fair hearing of their own. To represent different sides fairly. To treat the views of readers with respect. That’s active listening.
Fortunately for me, David French later wrote a great example of active listening on world events. When discussing the politics of America’s financial support for Ukraine and Israel, French shared the following:
I understand both the good-faith right-wing objections to Ukraine aid and the good-faith progressive calls for a cease-fire in Israel. Ukraine needs an extraordinary amount of American support for a war that has no end in sight. It’s much easier to rally the west when Ukraine is on the advance. It’s much harder to sustain American support in the face of grinding trench warfare, the kind of warfare that consumes men and material at a terrifying pace.
I also understand that it is hard to watch a large-scale bombing campaign in Gaza that kills civilians, no matter the precision of each individual strike. Much like ISIS in Mosel, Hamas has embedded itself in the civilian population. It is impossible to defeat Hamas without harming civilians, and each new civilian death is a profound tragedy, one that unfolds in front of a watching world. It’s a testament to our shared humanity that one of our first instincts when we see such violence is to say, “Please, just stop.”
And there you have it. French steel manned two political views without endorsing either. Instead of saying “I agree”, he said “I understand.” Conservatives can have reasonable questions about Ukraine without believing they’re partial to Russia or dictators. Meanwhile, college students can have an understandable lament for Palestinians without believing they’re promoting mass murder by a terrorist group. We can strongly disagree with the views of either while understanding their perspectives. For the passions behind their cause, and for the values that call them to their opinions. This is the mission of this blog.
I also want to praise active listening in general. I want to celebrate the practice when someone does it, and to share when it’s absent. And I want to share of times when I listen to myself, whether it’s reconsidering a position or something in life I’ve had a change of heart on. As Phil Collins observed: “We always need to hear both sides of the story.” For the pursuit of truth, empathy, and knowledge, this is all that will be happening on the blog. Anactivelistener.com: A market for grace with the views people have.
If you’re interested in more, read this piece on the benefits of listening, or go back to the home page for recent writings. In any case, welcome to the site! I intend for its writings to be a source of grace in a sea of contempt. Whatever the topics, and whatever the disagreements, let’s make the effort to understand each other. So I’ll see you on the next post.
