Harrison Butker, NFL kicker for the Kansas City Chiefs, drew public condemnation for a commencement speech earlier this year. He shared conservative thoughts to a Catholic college – from pro-life views to “fiasco” Covid policies – but attention came to his praise of homemakers. “Some of you may go on to lead successful careers in the world, but I would venture to guess that the majority of you are the most excited about your marriage and the children you will bring into this world.” He also referred to women’s desires for job success over motherhood as “diabolical lies”, receiving a standing ovation from the crowd, but judgements from elsewhere.

Outrage at Butker stretched for months, and while I thought people misrepresented his words, I couldn’t get past the phrase “diabolical lies”. On one hand, I don’t take Butkler to mean that women should live the now-cliche image of red robes and white bonnets from “The Handsmaid’s Tale”. Rather, his point was that being a homemaker has its own rewards, and we shouldn’t discourage the natural excitement women may have for that future. At the same time, Butker didn’t give due credit to the positives of encouraging women to use their talents in the wider world. While he wanted to promote motherhood as admirable, women should be able to choose their own adventures in life with the same level of support.

By describing our support for women’s careers as devilish lies, Butker diminished the contributions of women who “may go on to lead successful careers in the world.” While they may not reach the greatest heights in their fields, the skills and labor of those graduates will benefit the economic and personal well-being of people in their spheres. From the creation of jobs to organization in their work environment, there are depths to what the women will contribute to society through their careers. Like George Bailey seeing the full impact of his life in It’s a Wonderful Life, the women Butker spoke to will have an impact on the professional world around them. I suspect Butker might agree with this in a more in-depth conversation, but in any case, his speech could have given more respect to their future careers.*

As an inspiring example of such a career, Doris Kearns Goodwin embodies the rewards of a culture that promotes career pursuits for women.** Goodwin may be the most well-known historian of our time, with several decades of research, writing and teaching inspiring us with tales of U.S. presidents. With her abundant skills in mind, let’s now imagine there was no movement of women’s liberation in the mid-20^th century. Would our society have encouraged her to pursue her career? More likely, her influence would have been confined to her family, and while we shouldn’t look down on this path, there are other pursuits we can promote to our daughters. Let them choose what is right for them, and hope for the best in any case.

I’ve reflected on all of this as I’ve been working on a writing project with a fictional character – a young woman who will come to recognize her abilities as an executive. Taking place in 19-century Virginia, this carpetbagger will find new confidence in herself, directing others to achieve goals in educating former slaves. But her journey will be ripe with discouragement as family and others will speak of a more “proper” place for her in life. Should she abandon her new profession to be a homemaker and farmhand in life, as her father would have of her? How much have the talents of women been suppressed through centuries by limiting women in this way? The answer is incalculable, and we should encourage whatever paths someone will take.

Back to Doris Kearns Goodwin, the all-the-more amazing part to me is that she found the grit to choose both career and motherhood. In her latest book, she describes her days of research and writing while paying attention to her children through the day.*** How did she find the time and energy to have focus on these things? It seems incredible that some will have the burden of handling children while meeting the demands of a career, but women like Goodwin somehow do it. So the graduates like those who listened to Harrison Butker should also keep this in mind. It’s a daunting challenge, but still attainable.

From a personal example, I know the value and happiness that my wife takes from photography. It was in her blood since childhood, and she’s had the opportunity to share the craft with students and viewers for years now. She’s inspired others to pursue the trade, and she has been part of the art communities at universities as well. With this, should we describe past encouragements for her career as “diabolical lies”? Was her range of influence in the world best to be isolated to her children and unworthy husband? It’s hard to think this when hearing from a former student of hers, now also a photographer who enjoys the trade while having children of her own. We can be thankful for a society that didn’t demean her professional ambition while also believing she can find joy from motherhood.

So let us encourage all paths that each woman will choose for themselves. From Harrison Butker, let’s keep in mind that women can have great fulfillment from becoming mothers. In itself, the role will be satisfying and productive as their children make their way in the world with virtue. At the same time, let’s not diminish the careers that will call to them. The professions that will harness their skills to make for a better world. Women should choose one, or the other, or both, without any thought of judgement from conversations or liberals. Whatever their paths, we’ll be better off for them.

*When writing of “diabolical lies”, I suspect Butker also had the 1960s sexual revolution in mind – the message to women that promiscuity will lead to equality and self-satisfaction. Here, I would be more sympathetic with the NFL kicker, but it’s a discussion for another time. 

**Without Goodwin, we wouldn’t have the well-renown Lincoln biography “Team of Rivals”, and by extension, we wouldn’t have the movie Lincoln. For this alone, we should be grateful that our society didn’t push Goodwin away from her ambitions as a historian. The world is better off for having Steven Spielberg and Daniel Day-Lewis bring Abraham Lincoln to such popular attention.

***It was a joy to read this latest book, “An Unfinished Love Story: A Personal History of the 1960s”. With 7,970 ratings on the Goodreads app, the book has 4.67 out of 5 stars. When finishing it, I felt I had no choice but to give it five stars as well.