Long ago, I listened to men on the radio argue over an odd question: Is Die Hard is a Christmas movie? It struck me as absurd. Of course it isn’t. It’s guns and explosions; it’s not Hallmark tales. Is this really a question? But here was the media taking an affirmative and negative, locked in fierce debate. They didn’t need to talk about politics or world leaders to raise our blood pressure. Die Hard would do just fine for their daily controversy. So I rolled my eyes on a twenty-minute commute as I couldn’t believe anyone in the world thought the action film was a holiday one.
I forgot about the argument until years later when a new friend not only claimed Die Hard a Christmas movie, but aggressively teased me over it. We would argue about it for years, sending memes, articles, and quotes to counter the other’s foolishness. He’d send a screen shot of Amazon Prime showing that Die Hard was under Christmas movies. Meanwhile, I’d send clips like Bruce Willis setting the record straight while noting things like the fact that Die Hard‘s release was in July. No one in Hollywood thought it was a Christmas film, and the argument raged on from there.
Inspired by our debates, my friend, who would be a clever troll if he spent more time online, started an annual Die Hard Christmas party. While the gatherings were fun with good humor, the purpose was clear: To mock my opinion. In the first years of hosting, he would point out everything in the film that allegedly proved him right:
– “Look, there’s a Santa hat on the dead body.”
– “See? McClane’s using wrapping tape to hide his gun.”
– “They’re playing Let It Snow for crying out loud!”
On some level, I had already surrendered the argument by enjoying his parties. My holiday traditions came to include Hans Gruber falling off Nakatomi Tower, and Die Hard was now in the same realm as Miracle on 34th Street.
Still, I held my ground through the years with the argument that the theme of Die Hard doesn’t involve Christmas. The fact that a story takes place on the day can’t in itself warrant the label of a holiday film. The plot might happen during that time, but a movie needs to be about Christmas to count. For examples, let’s look at the themes of less controversial Christmas films:
A Christmas Story – A child celebrates the Christmas season with his middle-class family while hoping for a Red Ryder bee bee gun.
Ernest Saves Christmas – Ernest helps Santa Claus preserve his magic powers by transitioning the role to a successor.
Jingle All the Way – An inconsiderate father races across town to find the most popular Christmas gift for his son.
By contrast, let’s look at Die Hard:
Die Hard – Foreign criminals hold a building hostage to steal bonds while an off- duty cop interferes with their plans.
Or, if you’d rather not take my word it, let’s review Amazon’s description instead: “A New York policeman outwits a group of foreign terrorists holding his wife and others hostage in a Los Angeles high-rise.”* Amazon threw Die Hard under the category of Christmas, but it failed to actually connect Christmas to the story. Because you can’t, I would argue. You may want to attach “on Christmas” at the end of the sentence, but Earth’s orbital location to the plot was irrelevant to me. If you have to shove a prepositional phrase at the end of the description to make the movie Christmas, then it didn’t qualify. Game, set, match—or so was my thinking.
Along with this, I stood my ground because it struck me that people like my friend weren’t acting in good faith. It always seemed like the people who proclaim Die Hard a Christmas film just want to stick it to anyone who might like Hallmark films—those awful holiday rom coms that grandparents make kids sit through.** Die Hard is antithetical—rebellious—to those viewers. There are explosions. Murder. Cocaine at office parties, and a rogue cop killing henchmen. So if Die Hard can be in the same genre as something like A Christmas Prince, then it’s a fun way to taunt those preferring the ladder. Declaring Die Hard as Christmas felt more like a trolling expedition than a genuine argument.
For these reasons, I pressed on in opposition, but I always knew there was a downside to my view. Other movies could be called into question with my thoughts about themes. Is Home Alone still a Christmas movie? Kevin McCallister fended for himself against burglars and the chores of domestic life, and Christmas was irrelevant to his journey. And what about It’s a Wonderful Life? After all, Christmas only happens in the last third of the film, and the holiday was inconsequential to George Bailey’s problems. If everyone held my opinion, then endless analysis might come of such classics. I was being a stick-in-the-mud about Die Hard, and this problem was always in the back of my mind.
So as the argument got old between me and my friend, I decided to turn around on the question. Fine. Die Hard is a Christmas movie. So be it. Separating a movie’s theme from its setting might technically be the right thing to do, but was I really going to tell people that certain movies weren’t Christmas? Was I going to stop playing Home Alone in the background while decorating the Christmas tree, as became a tradition? I was tired of being stringent and potentially raining on anyone’s parade. To each their own, I would conclude. So I became fine with calling Die Hard a Christmas movie, looking forward each year to watching bloody shootouts and degenerate behaviors with the holiday season.
Sadly, not long after making this turnaround, the holiday tradition of watching Die Hard would come to an end. My friend just moved out of state, making the final party last week as he sold his house. Sure, someone else could host, but it won’t be the same. Just as people start new families and float away from the traditions of youth, the joy and cheer from watching Die Hard with my friend will fade into memory. Still, I’ll want to do my best to continue on with Die Hard. Truly, as the meme says, “It’s not Christmas until I see Hans Gruber fall from Nakatomi Tower.”
*I’m actually not thrilled with this summary. As Hans Gruber quipped, “Who said we were terrorists?” And he was right. They weren’t looking for political change; they only wanted money. Still, the point here is that Amazon didn’t think to include Christmas as part of the theme of Die Hard. Point to me!
**Take a look through Netflix and it appears the streaming giant eclipsed Hallmark in bad holiday films. Some of the movie titles are hard to read let alone spending hours watching them.